By Rebecca Neuwirth,
Sixth-grade
mathematics teacher and MS Mathematics Dept. Chair/MS Academic Dean
When I was in school, I often found
myself anxiously awaiting the return of my parents from parent-teacher
conferences. It was quite often that I
had a feeling of dread as I saw our car pull into the garage, mostly because I
was an imaginative child who tended to worry and who liked to express my
opinions. Would Mrs. Fetter really
mention that I corrected her pronunciation of the most recent science
vocabulary word and then giggled? Would
Miss Blank (seriously, that was her name) report that I had “potential” to
excel, but that I “didn’t seem to like her class?”
Fortunately, times have changed. Not just because I’m on “the other side” now,
but through the years, I have come to enjoy the opportunity to learn more about
the children I teach through dialogue with their parents. Although students in Middle School are
usually forthcoming with more information than one would ever think to ask,
parent-teacher conferences provide an important link to the success of any
student.
As I reflect on the conferences I have had
with parents over the last three decades, there are a number of commonalities
about “successful” conferences that stand out in my mind:
1.
All conferences should be approached with the
best interest of the child in mind. Both
as parents and teachers, we must remember our goal is to provide the best all-around
education for each student that we can possibly provide. It is important to come to the conference with
an open mind and a big heart!
2.
It is important for parents to inform the
teacher about their child’s perceptions, feelings, and attitudes. The intent should always be to relay facts accurately
with the goal of arriving at a remedy or solution. Both teachers and parents want to see happy,
engaged children. By sharing information we can easily achieve this goal.
3.
Both the parent and the teacher must be good
listeners. Allowing each person to voice
what they see, hear, and think is extremely important. We must remember that oftentimes children
behave differently, depending on the audience and the environment. As a mother of three daughters who have been
through middle school, I know that what occurs at home is often quite different
from what teachers see at school and vice versa. Share anecdotes and stories that reveal your
child in a different light. I’m sure the
teacher will, too! The personal touch is something to be nurtured and developed
throughout the school year. The more
comfortable you are with your child’s teacher, the more comfortable your child
will be in the classroom.
4.
The role of the teacher goes far beyond
teaching subject content. If “all is not
right with the world,” your child may have some ups and downs
academically. Keeping a balance is
essential. Ask your child what went well instead of asking what went badly. What does he/she enjoy about a class or
subject? What is difficult for him/her? If your child is struggling in some areas,
come to conferences prepared to set things right. Believe that your child’s
teachers are here to help in any way that they can. I firmly believe that parent-teacher
conferences provide the opportunity for “two (or three) heads to be definitely
better than one!” Remember that we are in this, as parents and teachers,
together.
5.
If you know ahead of time that there are
specific concerns or topics to discuss about your child that will take longer
than the allotted conference time, please make sure to email, call, or schedule
an additional time to meet with your child’s teacher. It is in the best
interest of all to take the needed time to talk things over and develop plans
for your child’s future success. This is best done in a non-rushed, thoughtful
way —not when there are many other parents waiting to speak to the teacher.
As adults, we need to keep in
mind no one is perfect and, although we might want our children to strive to
always do their best, there will be times when they fall short of their (and
our) goals. The most important lessons are to instill in children a desire and love
of learning, to give them the tools that they need to be resilient when they
fall short of a goal, and to provide them with a safe environment in which they
are free to take risks and have fun while testing new territories. Learning (with all of its emotional,
academic, and social components) should be viewed as an ongoing lifelong journey,
not just something you do in school to earn a grade.
